Image Credit: FreePixel So, I used to get super nervous before events. Even casual get-togethers with friends could leave me overthinking every little thing I said. Turns out, feeling confident in social situations isn’t something you’re just born with. It’s a skill—and like any skill, you can build it with practice.

I wanted to share what actually helped me feel more confident around people. This isn’t fluff—it’s a mix of personal experience, some proven strategies, and a few tiny changes that made a big difference.

What Helped Me (And Might Help You Too)

1. I Started Preparing—But Not Over-Preparing Before heading into a meetup or even a call, I just took a few minutes to remind myself what the event was about. If it was a work thing, I skimmed the topics or attendees. If it was a party, I thought of 2–3 easy conversation starters.

One thing that really helped: I stopped imagining everything going wrong and started imagining things going well. A quick mental run-through of smiling, shaking hands, chatting—it calmed my nerves more than I expected.

2. Body Language Changed Everything I had no idea how much I was closing myself off with my posture. So, I started doing small things: not folding my arms, looking people in the eye (for like 3–5 seconds max), and smiling more often (even when I wasn’t 100% confident yet).

These tiny shifts made me feel more confident, even before anyone responded.

3. Rewriting the Voice in My Head My brain loves going, “You’re gonna mess this up,” or “You sound so weird.” Sound familiar? Yeah, I had to start questioning those thoughts.

Now, if I catch one of those negative thoughts, I ask myself, “What evidence do I really have for this?” or “What’s the worst that would actually happen?” Most of the time, the answer is… nothing major.

It’s not about being blindly positive. It’s about being fair to yourself.

4. I Became a Better Listener (Which Took the Pressure Off Me)

I realized I didn’t need to carry every conversation. Listening is a superpower.

Now I nod, ask little follow-up questions, and let people talk about stuff they enjoy. Most people appreciate it, and it takes the spotlight off me, which weirdly helped my confidence too.

5. I Started Small (No Giant Parties at First)

Instead of diving into big social events, I started with small ones: coffee meetups, hanging out with one friend, or even saying hi to a coworker I usually didn’t talk to.

And after each of these, I gave myself a little mental high-five. Confidence builds fast when you celebrate even tiny wins.

6. I Switched to a Growth Mindset

I stopped thinking, “I’m just bad at this,” and started saying, “Okay, that conversation was awkward—what can I learn from it?” That shift helped me bounce back instead of spiraling.

And I asked friends for feedback sometimes. Not in a heavy way—just, “Hey, did that sound okay?” or “Was I rambling too much?”

Extra Things That Worked for Me

Deep breathing. The 4-7-8 technique (inhale 4s, hold 7s, exhale 8s) really helped right before entering a room. Dressing in something I felt good in. Confidence starts with comfort. Joining things. I signed up for a local improv class. Yes, it was terrifying—but also oddly freeing. Keeping alcohol to a minimum. It can fake confidence, but it never helped me actually build it. Taking Care of Myself Was the Foundation

I noticed I felt more socially confident when I was sleeping well, eating decently, and moving my body.

A few go-to habits:

30-min walk 3x a week (clears your head, gets you moving) 7–9 hours of sleep (absolutely essential) 5-minute meditations (or just sitting with no screen for a while) What I’d Suggest If You’re Still Struggling

If none of this is clicking, that’s totally okay. I reached a point where I needed outside help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) gave me tools I didn’t even know existed—especially around social anxiety.

You don’t have to wait until things feel “bad enough.” Therapy or even an online CBT course can make all the difference.

My Confidence Plan (In Case You Want a Framework)

Here’s what I loosely followed over two months:

Week 1–2: Practice power poses, do a journal entry every day Week 3–4: Start challenging negative thoughts with logic Week 5–6: Say “hi” to one new person or start one convo a week Week 7–8: Do something bolder—like speaking up in a group After that: Keep it up, and reach out for therapy if things stall It’s not about becoming the loudest or most outgoing person in the room. It’s about feeling at ease being yourself. That’s real confidence. You can build it—bit by bit.