Recorded with due astonishment in a hall that bore witness with stoic resignation and the occasional creak of disapproval

On the nineteenth evening of February, the choir assembled beneath the watchful rafters, where shadows lingered with the air of creatures who had arrived early to secure the best seats. The atmosphere was lively, the lighting faintly conspiratorial, and the kettles — ever dramatic — hissed with the impatience of dragons awaiting tribute.

The rehearsal was guided with admirable flair by Miss Kerrie Weaver and Miss Alison Wooley, who conducted the proceedings like a pair of musical ringmasters — minus the top hats, yet possessing every ounce of theatrical authority. Their combined presence could have tamed even the most unruly alto.

🎶 The Evening’s Musical Programme In which spirits rose, souls stirred, and the shadows leaned in appreciatively The choir embarked upon a setlist capable of reviving even the sleepiest Monday soul: Count on Me A declaration of friendship so sincere that even the shadows softened at the edges.

Gospel Medley Delivered with collective sass powerful enough to alarm the hymn books.

Hey Mr Miller Swinging with such 1943 enthusiasm that a nearby chair attempted to tap its leg.

Deep Down in My Soul Performed with conviction strong enough to stir several souls who had not planned on being stirred.

Amazing Grace Goosebumps guaranteed; the rafters hummed in quiet approval.

E Malama A tranquil, tropical interlude that drifted through the hall like a warm breeze — much to the draft’s jealousy.

It’s Raining Men A meteorological event the shadows watched with great suspicion.

Believe A triumphant swell of optimism that caused the lights to flicker in protest.

Peace White Dove A moment of calm descended — brief, delicate, and immediately disrupted by the tenors turning a page too loudly.

☕ The Fellowship of the Kettle Where true heroism resides Behind the scenes, the noble custodians of tea and washing‑up upheld civilisation:

• Tea & Coffee: Pauline S & Naina
• Washing Up: Enid & Julie S Next week’s brave inheritors of the kettle:
• Tea & Coffee: Barbara W & Helen H
• Washing Up: Sally & Ranae A new rota begins in March. Those wishing to join this esteemed fellowship may inscribe their names upon the sacred list. The kettles hissed approvingly.

📅 Matters of Forthcoming Importance In which polls must be answered lest chaos reign

• 26 February – Pie & Pea Social Nothing bonds a choir like pastry and legumes. Society depends upon it.
• 7 March – Celebration Singing at Mill Waters Café & Heritage Centre Assemble at 10:45am. Sing for half an hour. Bring smiles, mittens, and perhaps a prayer for favourable weather.
• 31 March – Joint Event with Kirkby Chorus Choir Kirkby Library, 11–2pm. Double the choirs = double the harmonies, and possibly double the shadows.

🎉 Birthdays That Defy the Natural Passage of Time Three radiant icons were celebrated:

• Carol – not quite 80, yet dazzling.
• Jeannie – 80+ and suspiciously youthful.
• Sandra – also 80+ and frankly unfairly radiant. Whatever enchantment they are using, the rest of us would like the recipe.

👗 The Vinted Fashion Frenzy Angela’s marvellous Vinted enterprise continues to deliver style, bargains, and choir‑funding sorcery. £30 was raised this evening, and the rehearsal saw more confident strutting than a Parisian promenade. The shadows watched with envy.

🎤 Next Singing Set – Commencing 5th March Members are kindly reminded to bring all song sheets so our newer singers may acquire copies without resorting to piracy. The forthcoming programme includes:

• Gospel Medley
• Hey Mr Miller
• Deep Down in My Soul
• Amazing Grace
• E Malama
• Count on Me
• It’s Raining Men
• Can’t Help Falling in Love
• All of Me
• Believe

As the evening concluded, the hall released a long, theatrical sigh — a sound suggesting that while it may not entirely approve of such exuberance on a Monday night, it will tolerate us again next week. Society, one hopes, will endure.